words to, for and inspired by you

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When we became a broken us
I adamantly swore:
I could get by alone.
I could go days without your touch,
weeks without your voice,
months with no word,
a lifetime without your hand in mine.

I wouldn’t miss you at all.

Then you called.
You were in town.
You were the glowing envelope on my phone.
And I realized something.

I can only live without you
until I’m reminded that you’re gone.

a.l.y, unfortunately it’s still you.

Filed under poetry relationships Love Poetry poem love poem ALY:AM

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I want to but where to begin?
I could start at the middle and go to the end.
Or at the end and relive the start.
Or maybe at moment zero and quit before I begin.
Lead with the darkness
or find it when the tunnel bends
into the horizon
over the edge of the cliff
to a reality we invent
to satisfy the urge
to accept
to understand –

It happened.

I want to tell you everything but there aren’t words
for the feeling of absolute lack of worth
that comes with my job of self preservation.
You would need to be cleared, security level me.
You say you are and my stomach tightens
because you already see.
Though unfortunate, you are a little bit me.
And I crave the understanding
but don’t want to ask you to relive
the beginning, the middle, or the elusive end.

You asked me to talk, and this was what I said.


Filed under abuse poetry revovery therapy tw.abuse

3 notes

I loved her.

The skin behind my knee loved the ridges of her fingertips as they traced invisible lines back and forth, painting a masterpiece of emotion. The palm of my hand loved the feel of her cheek and the angle of her jaw. My lips loved the spot on the back of her neck that began a path of practiced meetings that led down her spine. My feet loved the feeling of hers as we tangle together under un-tucked sheets.

I loved her with parts I hadn’t realized could love and missing her had started in my chest but had spread like a plagued disease to my hands, my knees, my lips, my feet, infecting every piece of skin she had ever touched.

And it was there in the dining room of our home on a Tuesday night in August, alone, when I realized how deeply that love went.

a.l.y, regret

Filed under ALY:AM regret quotes break ups heartbreak heartbroken

3 notes

She smiled and the dimples on her cheeks cratered my composure and left me hanging onto the gentle curls that rested haphazardly on her shoulders. Laughter left her lips and my pulse erupted beneath my skin, threatening escape with each beat within my chest. And then she looked at me, a chuckle in her throat and the edge of her mouth tilted upwards, and the innocence in her eyes stole the air from my lungs.

I told myself to breathe; inhale; exhale; inhale; exhale. Slow and deep: my silent mantra, willing my brain to overpower her kind of beautiful, her unique brand of gorgeous.


Filed under ALY:AM love quotes quotes poetry love poetry sometimes she really just doesn't understand that this is what I see

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It took me a while to figure this out but what I want is someone who likes me- likes talking to, being with, hanging around me- so much that they accept my endless flaws. I want that same someone to love me so much that they, on the bad days and the worst when my flaws come rushing out, will remember why it is they like me.